manic

Today was definitely a day of highs and lows.

Lows: 2 of my advisees who are also my FYE students both have been acting out of character lately, not handing in assignments/handing them in late, missing class/showing up late. Today both of them arrived VERY late and looked very distressed. The one left before I had the chance to check in with him, but the other student approached me to apoplogize then asked if we could talk. When we got back to my office he broke down, disclosing to me that he's been depressed for months, is really struggling with being out and his parents not accepting it and being convinced he's just doing this to rebel, hasn't found a good support network here, and to top it all off, a friend of his he's known for 5 years who is only 18 years old was just diagnosed with HIV.

Wow. We talked through things briefly, I explained how there are many support groups on campus available, and our Counseling and Mental Health Services is a great ally and resource as well, and the Director is a gay man who runs the GLBTQ weekly support group. HWe then called over to the center to get him in right away, I walked him over and upon leaving he hugged me and told me that I was the only professional on campus who he's made any connection with and that he feels cares about him and he's comfortable with.... It took everything in me not to break down at that point myself. It's those moments that make me remember why I'm in this field and that I am doing something right, so even though I am flawed and realized I misadvised a student earlier this week, I made a huge positive impact on another. The whole rest of the day I couldn't shake my feelings about the whole situation, it was truly heartbreaking what this poor student is facing. I honestly don't know how people like Rita (AOD), Community Standards staff, or a Dean of Students does it. I internalize student's suffering so much and it fucking breaks my heart. I had a great convo tonight with one of our new Assistant Dean of Students, and he told me that the day he stops caring and ris desensitized by students situations is the day he needs to quit. It made me REALLY appreciate their work on a whole new level, and his insight onto why it's so crucially important to feel the pain of your students in order to best serve them was truly comforting and refreshing to hear.


Anywho, so I emailed my other student, who responded and informed me that he truly appreciated me reaching out to see he was okay and showing that I really cared and didn't just assume he was slacking, but that he was in fact completely at fault b/c his sleeping habits are completely out of whack and his priorities are too. He's currently working on his portfolio to get into our Fine Arts school so I know he's been stressing on perfecting his projects, but when he can't wake up for my 12pm class with 5 alarms set, I worry that it's more than bad sleep habits...

Highs: Judging the Homecoming Royalty Pageant was an absolute pleasure. Despite one of the "contestants" being a misogynistic, homophobic, sexist pig whose "talent" was having one of his sorority girl friends sit on his lap as his "dummy" as he told offensive jokes, demeaned and sexualized her, which she embraced and then took on that role as well and then another of his cronies came out and when he got the impression the misogynistic pig was hitting on him pretended to punch him (OH HEY YEA LET'S ENCOURAGE VIOLENCE AS AN APPROPRIATE REACTION TO HOMOPHOBIA! fucking fabulous). Clearly this douche was not aware the judges included a feminist lesbian health educator, myself, an assistant Dean of Students, and many others who are EXTREMELY passionate about gender equality, etc.

BUT, one of my favorite student leaders at UConn who I grew to know and love through working at the Rainbow Center won Homecoming King!

His performance made me weep as he danced to a powerful song about believing in your dreams in front of a picture slideshow of the many monumental achievements the students at the Rainbow Center have made, supported with powerful quotes, etc. The Rainbow Center has NEVER won in the Royalty Pageant. It is almost ALWAYS white straight Greeks. But this year, an Asian gay man and an Asian woman won! What a great freaking night!